Here we go…
Dear soul what I need as a Human right now is first of all to love myself and not only that but also to forgive myself for all the “bad” things that I as a Human think that I have ever done.
I know that I one way or another have to set my self free from this human interpretation of what I have done here from a human perspective, and instead to see it as the great gift
I Know that it is…
The great sacrifice that I have given to my Divine Self.
In a way, I can not even begin to understand what the heck I have done by giving myself this experience. I know the answer, but I still ask my self why, why.. Why!?
I do not want to admit that some of the most horrifying experiences that I have been giving myself as a Human, are actually the one that I enjoyed the most.
The excitement of doing something “wrong” something terrible wrong. At the same time as I knew that I Am a fucking Angel witch are only not able to do whatever I want, to other beings, to give them experiences that they would never been bestowed with without my intrusion.
To give them outrages anger, hate, love, pleasure, sadness, joy, despair, losses, or whatever else that you can sense as a human being…
And at the same time bestowing it upon myself..
Knowing that I can do this and that and get away with it. Just as I got away with not being killed, not having to answer to any authorities on this earth, or beyond. It was just part of my job-description this time around.
Yes, most of all by myself and of coarse by other humans:
I did not needed the Sexual Energy School, to tell me that the abuser, will become the greatest victim, and the other way around.
Ohh… I know that from my own experience, and not only from this life.
But first and all.. As an Angelic Human, my human part I have been my biggest Judge.
I used to call myself a Black and White angel on earth, and I know that is what I have been. Right now, right now I just feel that I am a kind of “a burned out Angel”.
Right now my dear Soul what I want, what I really really want are to be bestowed with the knowing that all Is Well in all of creation, and especially my part of it… he, he.
I know it in a way, but I do not fully believe my own knowing,
and as long as I can’t do that…
I can not fully enjoy my life right now, I can’t live outrageously, I can not allow myself to be who I really are. Because I still think I have done something wrong, I still think that maybe I am just like the Devil or Satan, an outcast that have been doing whatever I have ever wanted without thinking of the consequences for other beings, a kind of a dark divinity totally careless of other humans suffering especially when it comes to the end-times of Atlantis, and as I feel it also the feeling that I was responsible for the death of Yeshua…
but thereby also the initiator of Christianity 🙂
So you see, my dear dear soul, I have to get over myself, coming from a Christian background in this life… and That is not the easiest thing to do..
For fucks sake, I called this a letter to my Soul, but I see now it’s more of a letter to me.
This is my greatest burden, this is the reason I have punished my self again and again, never been able to forgive myself to be this fucking angel on earth, never have had these rules under my skin, these fucking human rules. That we are supposed to live by here on earth, but deep deep down I know that it’s because I have to overcome this for the sake of my creation, of our creation of our experiences my dear soul, my need to become one with me?
That last sentence I think…
No I feel, was just some fucking spiritual bullshit, a kind of neediness to excuse myself, to make myself feel worthy. To create a reason into this fucking madness that it is to be a human. Maybe it was, maybe not. I does not fucking matter anyway!!!
That been said, It has been plenty of joy and laughter to.
What I have to do is to forgive myself my outrageous life, or that is the emotion that I feel. At the same time I Know that I do not. I just have to give myself not only accept but also the grateful thanks that I have allowed myself to dive so deep inside my evil/dark side of human life.
To be able to be one of the first to go trough this, and to be able to talk to anyone about their life, their regrets, their despair if they so choose.
Especially those who have lived their life outrageously gone beyond the rules, or the morality of their community.
I had to know what the heck I am talking about, or they will see me just as the fake I will be. I do not have to experience the exact same thing, but I have to be able to feel their despair, their hopelessness, helplessness, their need to be seen by an equal, to be told that…
Yes, is it possible even for you, it is possible even form the darkest abyss of shame, guilt, fear to come back into the light of your own divinity. It is possible to love yourself in the Now..
You do not need a savior, you do not need to be saved, to get the forgiveness of others. No matter what, because the only thing that matter for you is your experience and
No thing else. That is why You Are Here…
And I can say this because I have been there… And I am here now!
This is my passion, not to lecture… but to teach out of my own experience. And as the creator and the leader of my spiritual family I do not feel any responsibility, because I can not do anything for them. But I do already feel the excitement and the pleasure of bringing forward the possibility and option they have, to choose their own Enlightenment.
But right now my love, my soul. I have to be able to love all of the experiences that I have given me/you trough this lifetime, for the Divine part of me to distill into wisdom and to love myself even more to bring that part into my I Am, here in this body. In this lifetime, to shine my light as the Divine Being that I Am, in this last lifetime on Earth.
So my dear dear Soul this is what I need as a Human, this is what we need to live as an Outrageous Enlightened Sovereign Being on Earth!
First of all Great Physical Health,
I mean who the heck are going to see me as I Am an Enlightened Master being here on Earth if I have some physical problems in the day to day life. I do not need to become a superhuman, but in superior health.
No pain… nothing that are holding me back from doing what I want to accomplish.
My New House, my New Home has to be in perfect order as I was as a 33 years old in a good healthy condition. And to be able to breath myself back to that condition whenever I feel I wish to.
I am also in need of this to go into my Ascension, as a blueprint to take with me further on.
Second and equally important Money,
An Abundance of money… So that I can be able to travel in style, dress in style and live in style without ever have to think about having enough.
I know dear soul, you have never been here on your own, you sent me.
But I have, so I am the one that know what it take to live outrageously here on Earth.
So please listen to me now, come closer and listen good.
This is also necessary to be seen as The Independent Enlightened Master that I Am.
Not as a showoff, but as a Sovereign Being.
To shine my light as The Divine Souled Being that I Am.
I also need to realize what I wrote about above about self-worth,
about why I have done what I have done, in service to you and my I Am.
So come on let’s do it. Let’s walk on!
I will allow everything that I have asked for to nice and easily come in, and I will ask you and demand you to merge with me here on Earth so that we can be together once again.
Merging together all that I Am. You my Dear Soul, My I Am and My Human part, My Angelic being, My Spirit and Divine. As the Sovereign Master that I Am.
I Am God Also, and just like you my dear Soul, I Love to Love Me and… Yes, I Exist!
This is my needs as a Human Being right now, and the experience of experience all this are and will be your experience to.
Most sincerely and the best regards from Earth,
Me, Your Human part.